Uncle Pauly's pearls of wisdom: Blog

Why vote Obama?

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 11:15:30 GMT

Vote Obama

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 00:03:56 GMT

I am not really one to care much about politics, nor am I one that normally cares about Democrats...but I'll let this video talk for me instead.

My town!

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 13:57:58 GMT

Here is a video I made myself, gives a rough introduction to the world that I live in...enjoy!

Wisdom of Del Hessel

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 10:12:09 GMT

Video proof of my coach's description between the steeplechase barrier and a hurdle, 'When you hit a hurdle, you break it; when you hit a barrier, it breaks you.'

At some point your just being mean

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 06:53:51 GMT

So I am kind of on a sports and news kick lately...so today is sports news.
http://scores.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=270822201
Rangers 30-Orioles 3. When ever your score can be divided evenly by ten you didn't to so hot, I think that's a rule in most sports and if it's not, it should be. Also reminds me of a little league game I got to stand out in left field for when I was 12. Think it was 2-27 in the second inning when the umps finally called the game cause we reached our two hour time limit. You'll be happy to know in the inning I only had one error, but the sun was in my eyes and I didn't really believe they would ever hit the ball out to me. And it's better then the game I got benched in cause I was dancing and swatting mosquitoes in right field...somewhere in here is probably a good reason I didn't go pro, other then the fact my nickname was 'shot-put Paul'

Yeah...maybe not on that side

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 11:12:22 GMT

Something to look forward to in the next 20+ weeks

She stole that from Homer!

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 07:43:54 GMT

Pencil stuck up the nose for 55 years? Tragic story or Simpson's rip off? You decide.
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22199607-23109,00.html
I think this should be a sign that the Simpson's are a bad influence on old people. If people, 55 years ago, are going to see an episode of the Simpson's and stick a crayon or pencil up their nose we may want to think about some sort of censorship on that kind of shenanigans. I propose that all episodes that would be seen by someone 55 years ago from now should be edited for appropriate content. We must protect our old peoples impressionable minds.

My girlfriend make me laugh

Thu, 24 May 2007 05:09:52 GMT

Here is a video my girlfriend and her sister made, nothing better then funny girls in skirts!

Sorry Hong Kong

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 05:30:53 GMT

So I realized today that I may have been a little harsh with Hong Kong yesterday and so today I wanted to tell you two things that I really like about Hong Kong.

1. Traffic: the cars stop at lights, people walk on the sidewalk instead of the middle of the road, people wait on the sidewalk when before crossing the road and people wait for the cross walk signal before crossing the road. If in 20 years Beijing's traffic is as nice as Hong Kong's is right now I'll be suprized.

2. Hello!: The thing that I hate the most about China is the construction workers and other men yelling hello! at me. Every time I hear it I cringe and have to fight back this urge to violently injure someone. The whole week here in Hong Kong, not one person yelled at me, not even people selling things on the street.

Beautifully Boring Hong Kong

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 06:38:41 GMT

So, I'm in Hong Kong to get my visa switched over and I must say that it's not fun being in a big city all by yourself. I am bored and broke (though I did buy a new computer and a HK$450 steak which was well worth it). So I thought to share some of my observations with you about Hong Kong.

1. Hong Kong people are even more confused about how to walk in crowds then those in the mainland. They drive on the left side of the road but have yet to adapt this to their walking patters, not only this they have yet to develop this as a universal system to escalator/ stairs/ and subway entrances. An example, to get to the Subway you first go down a set of stairs (where there are arrows on the left indicating that is the side of the stairs you should descend), then you enter the subway station (entrance station on the right while people are exiting to your left (causing you to cross the rivers of people in order to get to the gate)) Then you have to take an escalator down to the platform, which is again on the left forcing you to again cross the river of people heading for the exit gate. I think it should be a universal law, the side of the road you drive on should be accepted as the side of a walkway/staircase/escalator ect. that you walk on, but that's just me.

2. Hong Kong men are just as gentlemanly as those in the mainland. Two examples, every time I've eaten at the mall (which is a lot cause I don't know how to order Cantonese food) there will be couples eating together at other tables. I would say as many of half of these couples the guy is sitting there playing his Nintendo DS or PSP while the girl sits there staring off into space or meekly eating the food still remaining on the table. There are the occasional good guys who are teaching their girlfriends how to play their games but they are a vast minority. Second example, I am waiting at the Chinese consulate and a chair opens up (these are rare and so i am not rushing to get to it but being the closes I decide to stroll on over. Right as I am turning to sit down this old man shoves me aside and takes the seat. Now I forgive his rudeness and would have offered the seat to him had I seen him standing near but then his wife follows over to the seat and I thought I'd see a glimpse of a gentlemen. Surely this old man would give his wife the seat? Well, instead he fidgets in the chair for a while and pulls out the newspaper he sat on, unfolds it, and gives her a section so that she can sit on the floor next to him without getting her pants dirty. Classic Chinese gentleman.

Semanfar?

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 05:05:04 GMT

Just a little video that was brought to my attention relating to China, enjoy:

Apartment

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 08:37:26 GMT

After I realized that I am in fact an adult and that I have a job that I love and the opportunity and responsibility to be a good steward of the money gifted to me I have decided to purchase an apartment. I came to this decision when I visited my first apartment in yangqu. While the rent was much lower then I was paying in Tianjin the place was a dump and I would have had to pay around 1000 RMB to get it into a livable condition. I personally don't like to give money to other people to do things they should have done with their own money and so made the decision to investigate property. I found an apartment in a new apartment complex, then I found out the cost of the apartment was quite low, I then found out all the government officials chose this apartment complex to buy their apartments in (always a good sign) and that they predict the population of yangqu will jump from 30,000 to 150,000 in the next 3 years, along with the quickly dropping value of the RMB. All these factors have combined to provide me with a sweet pad that’s soon to be mine; I have a quick video posted on my myspace where you can see a very dark tour of my new apartment if you care to check it out.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1891386214

I will include some pics in the months to come once I start renovations.

Job

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 08:57:09 GMT

Just in case you have not read about the work I am doing, it can all be summed up on our website, www.cheeseinchina.com

Running the Sahara

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 09:29:09 GMT

So I once ran 18 miles a day, I thought that was kind of cool. Today I found out that three men just ran across the Sahara in 111 days, for the slow with math the site says they ran around 44-50 miles a day. I couldn't imagine it. Obviously neither could they, wondering the whole way why they were doing what they were doing. The biggest thing to me (not to sound cocky) is the heat, I don't think I could run 4 miles right now with how fat and out of shape I am but I would like to believe that I could get to the level of running the distance, but those of you who know me well can atest to the fact that I sweat profucely, I mean buckets full. I don't do heat well. Now if it was a run accross the Siberia (and I had many, many years to train) I might think it a thing I might find interesting. Heat, bad. Cold, well not that bad. Check out the national geographic link at http://www.nationalgeographic.com/runningthesahara/

Snow?

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 05:09:19 GMT

So I just noticed in the news that america was hit with another cripling snow and I ask, where's the moisture here? Where's the cold here? If you've been following the weather reports for Taiyuan with a religious ferver then you would have noticed that its rarely below freezing and there's not much chance of snow. We are about the latatude of Colorado and so the lack of cold is kind of confusing to me but I guess I will go with it, it is nice to run at 5 pm in shorts, though the Chinese yell stuff at me (which I'm always a fan of [note sarcasm]) But just to clarify, if you are one of the officials who control weather, this is not a complaint, it is just an observation...I don't really want cold (though if snow is included I might be swayed)

News (its all good)

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 04:08:41 GMT

So looking at my last blog I must say that today I know what I really am feeling, I am to excited to do anything, I'm going home tomorrow and so I have packed everything away...but I hadn't dressed yet and so had to unpack some to get clean clothes then re-pack it all...then realize that I packed my schoolwork (which I still have class at 3) and had to unpack that. It's to hard to study cause I can't focus...but since I'm leaving in less then 24 hours I'm not going to worry about that.

Other news, I have a Job. No more sitting at home studying Chinese with only 2 hours of class. I now have a full time job setting up a quality control laboratory for a Cheese factory in Yangqu (a town of 50,000 north of Taiyuan). There are ups and downs to the whole thing but the biggest up is I have a job that will eventually pay me and stuff.

(P.S. if anyone knows how to do quality control for cheese please don't hesitate to send me some suggestions!)

Is it excitment, a break, lazyness or sloth?

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 05:44:39 GMT

Lately I have been finding it really difficult to do anything. Really difficult. Like right now, I should be packing for my trip tonight to Taiyuan or studying for class in an hour, or even working of the Christmas presents that I'll be taking home, but instead I am typing about how I don't want to do anything. I'd rather watch peoples videos on Myspace or watch the weather change on my live space. These are all counter productive to what I need to do. I have a job interview tomorrow in Taiyuan and so I could be packing for the trip, I should be studying what it takes to make cheese so I don't look like a complete retard, but notice I am still typing...I'm comming back to America in 8 days and so am kind of shutting down. I'm really excited about Christmas with my family and so am kind of on autopilot, not a good think for a job interview, and a really difficult way to learn a foreign language. So I ask you, my faithful viewers, am I unable to be really productive because my mind keeps drifting to my trip home? Do I need a break from Chinese and work and so my mind is shutting down? or Is this just the lazyness that I've had to fight my whole life? While you debate the answer, I'm going to take a nap.

Americans have to much money!

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 04:28:49 GMT

So I was on the Denver Broncos website today, as I am most mornings, and noticed that Champ Bailey is being made into a fathead. I didn't know what a fathead was as many of you may not and so I had to do some looking up. A fathead is a life size replica of a player that adhears to a wall so you can have Champ stairing at you while your on your computer or watching the game and since the adhesive they use is save on walls you can take it off and move Champ to verious places. This seems cool if thats really what your into but then I looked at the price, $99. $99! you have got to be kidding me. I think being poor has really opened my eyes to true wastes of money. I did some quick math, based off the cost of my lunch today (Chaobing with a coke, $0.75) I could eat lunch for about 4 and a half months. Thats over a third of the year just so someone could have a fake Champ Bailey on their wall. So if you read this and are contemplating buying a Champ Bailey Fathead, don't let me talk you out of it. But then remember you could always find a picture of him online and print it off and stick it to your wall with some of that blue tacky stuff and send the $99 to me :-) Clearly Americans have to much money anyway.

LOTR

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 11:38:56 GMT

I just want to anounce to the world that I finally finished lord of the rings. Only 4 tries and three years later then I intended, but I finished it. Its a good book, don't get me wrong, but dang is it thick. I don't see how people could read through it in a week as I have seen and heard them do (John Eklund). Though I must say I didn't get the normal feeling I get when finishing a book. I normally feel, after reading a good book, that I have now lost a part of my life because I was so engrossed in the fanticy of the book that my real life seams less interesting and I want to get back into that world. I didn't feel that way after lord of the rings, maybe cause i was strugling so much just to get through the book or maybe because Tolken tied it up so well in the end. who knows, all i know is that it may be a few years before I try to tackle that book again.

Broken Guanxi Strings

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 10:31:04 GMT

I've done all I can for Youdi, the contacts from my school were unable to find anyone who could release him, JHF's PSB contact was also unable to release him. Both gave the excuse that because Youdi excieds the size limits for Tianjin I cannot raise him. I then found a company in Beijing who ships animals from China to other countries, figuring that if the Police new I was not going to keep him in Tianjin that they would release him to the company but again they refused. He tried to appeal to them on a professional level (the dog was going to America and not going to violate Tianjin law) and on a personal level (um...I have this friend named Washington, hint, hint). This was my last chance, it seams short of finding and breaking into the dog pound I will be unable to get Youdi back. Thank you all for your calls and emails during this time, you all have been a great strength to me. Keep Youdi in you thoughts.

As I wait

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 02:51:01 GMT

As I wait to find out if I can get my dog back I've posted picture of him so you all can see that he really isn't that big.

They Took Youdi!

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 10:13:27 GMT

Today I’m on my noon walk with Youdi, I do this everyday and so thought nothing of it until a red van with yellow paper signs on the side pulls up and three police men get out and aproch me. One quickly takes Youdi’s leash from me and tries to take him from me. An older lady who’s talked with me before is trying to help me out telling me to just give them 1000 yuan (which I don’t have) and tell them I’m a teacher at Nankai University. The lady then begins trying to soften up the police and give further instructions to me. The police are having trouble with Youdi and tell me I need to get in the van with them and go to the police station (good thing I didn’t teach Youdi any useful Chinese commands). At the police station they explain to me that Youdi is a monster of a dog, that he is way to big and there is no way that a dog his size can be raised inside the city. They write some things on a paper in the most illegible Chinese I’ve ever seen then ask me if I understand. When I say I don’t they tell me to sign my name.

I am then told that they will take me home, which is nice cause I live about 3 miles from the station but sucks because the jerk who took Youdi from me was the one who was taking me home. He’d tell me things like, ‘if you want to raise a dog, just get a little dog’ then he launched into the I’m trying to make the foreigner my friend routine. I was having none of that. It wasn’t until he tried to practice his English on me that I got mad. He’s just taken my dog from me, I’ve explained to him that my dog is like a child to me, and he has the nerve to turn to me and practice his English, asking me ‘how are you?’ in over emphasized rising tone to make sure I know it’s a question. Lucky for him he was driving and a police officer or else I might just have punched him in the neck…

So I get home and after a bout of punching and throwing everything without value in my house (mostly clothes and pillows) I go and get lunch and went to class where I new there were people who could help me.

After class I went to the most lihai man I know (lihai has two meanings, fierce and astute, this guy is both), Li Laoshi the owner of the school. He begins calling around, connecting with connections yelling at poor little police desk clerks…actually I don’t know what he really did cause he did it all in his office while I waited elsewhere but all the teachers are afraid of him because of how lihai he is so I’m glad I got him on my side. After about an hour and a half he comes back and tells me to go home and tomorrow morning he’ll let me know if and what I’ll have to do to get my dog back…stay tuned.

Clumsiest dog in the world contest?

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 01:49:19 GMT

So I don’t know how to actually quantify whether or not Youdi is the clumsiest dog in the world but of the four dogs that I have raised and other dogs I’ve seen on TV and on the street, few if any can match Youdi in clumsiness.

Some examples,
We stop by a tree so he can pee as he’s peeing he notices another dog about 100 meters behind him so stops to stare. I notice he’s done peeing and tell him to come so we can continue walking and ‘thud’ he turns his head and starts out with such speed completely forgetting the tree he just peed on, this has happened a couple of times.

Coffee tables seem also to be an insurmountable obstacle, the main problem is his back’s not much bigger then the coffee table and so as he walks casually around he doesn’t notice where the table ends and at a rather disturbing rate will crack his head into the edge. I actually took him to Rob’s apartment one evening and in the course of one football game he hit Rob’s coffee table 8 times, you’d think he’d learn.

This dog likes to run, and he can run rather fast, he just hasn’t got the turning down very well. One afternoon I take him to the open space by the canal cause people there are few and I can let him run around without fear of him running off or frightening young children. Though some times when he’s making a turn he’ll just plain fall down, I don’t know how it happens but he’s turning and ‘splat’ he’s on the ground.

He doesn’t yet realize that a dog is supposed to use his mouth to catch things. One of his favorite toys is a long rope bone, when I through this in the air he opens his mouth like he knows he’s supposed to use that but instead of biting it out of the air he lifts up his legs and attempts to catch it with his legs. This results 9 out of 10 times with the knot in the bone hitting him in the head and him falling without the bone. He does the same with Frisbee’s, ball’s and food.

And the topper, yesterday he was sitting in my lap, now to give him a little face he’s a bit big for my lap but he was doing it anyway. I was sitting watching a movie and he smelled someone outside. The tries to get up, his foot slips off my leg, this sends him down, he tries to recover, other leg slips and he’s now spinning, and lands half on the coffee table before being turned the other direction onto the floor. It seemed quite traumatic as he quickly ran from the table in fear and hid in my bedroom. I think he kind of kinked his leg too cause he was holding that up for a while.

Anyone have a dog clumsier then mine? Let me know.

I'm gona be in trouble

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 11:43:13 GMT

So I have a problem, I am adopting the Chinese traffic system. This in itself isn't so bad of a problem because its the way to make things work when I want to get somewhere in a somewhat reasonable fashion. The problems is that I am still American so when some guy stops in front of me and I have to swerve in front of the little old lady on her motorized bike to avoid hitting him, and she gets mad at me, I get kind of annoyed. This is kind of a point of hypocrisy because I really have no right to get mad, this is why, I also do most of the things that would make all Americans over the age of 16 with a valid drivers license nuts. Here is a list of the atrocities I've committed on the seat of my bike,
    1. Running a red light
    2. Going the wrong way through bike traffic (like going the one way down a one way street)
    3. Going the wrong way while talking on my cell phone
    4. Going the wrong way while texting on my cell phone
    5. Turning when my corner comes regardless of who is in my turning way
    6. Sitting in the middle of a major road, blocking traffic, cause I want to go to the other side of the road.
    7. Being unsure as to whether I should veer right or left as I approach another bike (or car) head on
Then the American problems that conflict with Chinese traffic, I have the following assumptions about traffic that don't apply in Tianjin
    8. I'm on a bike, I have the right away when I'm in the bike lane and a car is also...right.
    9. Pedestrians won't walk out into trafic without looking first...um, yeah they will
    10. People will look behind them before opening a car door after they just plowed their way into a crowded bike lane...I wish.
Now I mentions most of this cause I'm a little concerned for my traffic maneuvering abilities because a few months ago my license expired and me being lazy didn't think about getting it renewed. So I'm pretty sure one of the tasks I'll need to do back in the states for Christmas is to take the driving test again.
I think I'll leave the cell phone at home...

I Love Nankai

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 03:23:28 GMT

College campuses are just as great in China as they are in America. Why do I say this? I have just moved onto the Campus of Nankai university here in Tianjin and I must say that it is great. Though my apartment is a little small (it would be a nice size for a single person so with two it may be a bit cramped) it’s got everything I need and with a little organization (which is a skill I lack) it should be quite nice. Aside from the apartment where I live is amazing, the first floors of all the buildings around me have front yards and so while I don’t have one its nice to see grass and trees and pruned bushes every time I leave my apartment. People aren’t afraid of my dog, my old place every other person who owned a dog with yell at me if Youdi came within a yard of theirs. First day here I ran into a large group of people all meeting together to let their dogs play and were fully interested in Youdi and what a westerner does with a dog, he loved it. Then, if that wasn’t enough to make me fall in love already, within a half mile of my apartment is the student market. Produce, supermarket, jewelry, DVD’s, clothes, and restaurants all at ridiculously low prices, and for some one who hates to haggle this is paradise. And did I mention the restaurants, amazing! First night Rob and I go to this little dirty looking cafeteria, I’m expecting sub-par food cause it’s dirt cheep. Well the feast they brought us was anything but my expectations, crisp vegetables, well cooked meat, delicious sauces, and ice cold beer, all for the amazing price 24 yuan ($3). I was so impressed I went back again last night and got their curry beef gaifan (like a normal Chinese dish but served on a bed of rice). It was 4 yuan ($0.50) so I expected mostly curry covered rice with a bit of meat mixed in but what I got was amazing, huge chunks of tomato and potato with green peppers and cabbage all swimming in a delicious yellow curry sauce, it was so good I almost forgot that in the sauce was plenty of chicken (they ran out of beef), I left happy to say the least, I LOVE NANKAI!

I'm hidding

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 08:12:19 GMT

For those of you wondering where I've been for the past month, I'm hiding and just need a break. I lost my internet conection at my house cause I'm moving soon and I don't want to have it so access is limited (you're actually lucky that its raining right now or I'd be elsewhere). So if the lack of blog's and monthly newsletter has hit you sour feel free to email me your thoughts and feelings, I'll be sure to email mine back, when I check. And will give you a full on update when I move. See you in August.

Simon's Last Night

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 01:58:42 GMT

After two years in China, Simon is returning home to England today. Last night we sent him off properly by taking one of the gifts he received from a student and having some fun with it on the Tianjin University campus. Look in the picture folder 'Simon's last night' for the real details of a seemingly inocent Peiking opera mask...all I can say is beware, the mask is evil, pure evil!

梁山伯与祝英台

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 04:58:09 GMT

So I have been recuited to act in a play. Don't get to excited its just for my language school though it is all in chinese. The good news is that I am the Antagonist, which (for those of you who know chinese stories know) means that I will be the only person alive in the end. I have translated the story and writen it below.

Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai

Once upon a tine, there was a person whose sirname was 'Zhu'. His daughter, Zhu Yingtai, was not only stunningly beautiful but also extremely intelligent and fond of studying. But, because in ancient times, ladies were not allowed to go to school to study, Zhu Yingtai could do nothing more then lean up against the window each day, gazing at the students going up and down the main street with book boxes on their backs, her heart full of envy. Can it really be that girls are only allowed to stay at home?

When this thought crossed her mind, Yingtai immediately went to ask her parents to let her go to Hangzhou to study. At first, of course, her parents did not agree. But later Yingtai though of a good way: she would dress up as a boy so that other people would not be able to see that she was a girl. In the end, after Yingtai's repeditive pleading, her parents finally agreed.

The next day at dawn, Yingtai set off with her servant-girl, Yinxin. Zhu Yingtai met a male fellow-student called Liang Shanbo, who was an outstanding scholar and also completely honourable in character. Subsequently, the two became like brothers.

From that moment they were forever inseperable. Zhu Yingtai though: such a good person- if we can be together everyday, I'll certainly learn a lot of things, and surely I'll be happy too. Liang Shanbo likewise felt he'd immediately hit it off with her, that it felt like they'd been friends from the moment they met. Consequently they often read poems or other literature together and talked with eachother as best friends. As they looked after each othe rand took care of each other, their friendship grew deeper and deeper.

As spring and autumn came and went, three years flashed by and the school years came to an end. So the time came for each to go back home. Having studied together for three years, Zhu Yingtai had already fallen deeply in love with her 'brother' Liang and Liang Shanbo, although he didn't know she was a girl, completly adored her. Before they parted, Zhu Yingtai finally could no longer keep herself from telling Liang Shanbo that she was a girl so that he could quickly propose to her. In the end, hating to let go of each other, they parted.

After they returned home they longed for each other day and night. After a few months, Liang Shanbo proceeded to propose to their families that they get married.

The result, however, broke his heart.

Zhu Yingtai's father had a long time ago betrothed his daughter to the young master of the well-to-do house, Ma Wencai (My Character). Ma Wencai was a fop who idled away his time all day every day with eating and drinking and having fun.

Although Zhu Yingtai did not agree she couldn't persuade her parents to change their mind no matter how hard she tried. When Liang Shanbo heard this news, he was immediately filled with grief. He fell terribly ill and before long died.

When she heard that Liang Shanbo had passed away, Zhu Yingtai, who had completly resisted her parents and openly opposed the marrige they had arranged, suddenly became unusually calm. She agreed to get married, but on one condition: that the bridal sedan chair first go to Liang Shanbo's tomb, as she wanted to pay her respects at his grave.

Before she reached the tomb, she knelt down and burst into tears, at that moment
the wind began to blow, the rain came down, the air shook, there was a rumbling of thunder, and with a loud 'bang' the tomb split open. Zhu Yingtai, it seems, once again set eyes on those soft and gentle contours of her 'brother' Liang's face and, smiling, she lept in. Next there was another thuderous sound and the tomb closed up. At that point, the wind dropped and the clouds dispersed, the rain passed and the sky cleared; and a pair of butterflies flew out of the grave mound, and fluttered gracefully and freely up in to the sunlight to dance.

无座

Tue, 30 May 2006 03:12:16 GMT

无座, that's what the train ticket said. The man we were with told us that the woman he bought the ticket from said that they were for soft seats. I knew different. He was told that once we get on the train we'd be able to head to the soft sleeper car to get a bed for our 13 hour overnight train to Nanjing. We board the train and find out that I was right, 无座 means standing room only. It was true too, there was only standing room. We went to the counter to try and buy a bed, no tickets. So we realize we may be standing with the 100 or other people in standing room only if we don't think of something fast. So we head to the sleeper car but the attendant tells us that without a ticket we can't enter the car. So what are we to do?

We wait until the attendant goes into her room and closes the door, then we sneak past on our hands and knees to avoid being seen through the window and hijack an empty bed in the sleeper car. This last for 30 minutes when the train stops to pick up the people who actually bought the tickets for the bed. We move to the hallway and take three of the folding seats, we sit for a while until the attendant comes by and asks for our tickets. So what are we to do?

We fake that we can't speak Chinese (harder to do for Steve, my Korean friend who everyone confuses for Chinese). The lady finally gets frustrated and leaves us be. We are now comfortable and talking with the Chinese in the area trying to make deals for their beds, hearing that they are getting off early so when we stop next and all the people come on the train and its clear that we are now in the way of people who've purchased tickets we find the ticket lady and begins to explain our situation. This of course is surprising to her because we can actually talk Chinese. We make her laugh a lot but she continues to explain to us why we cant get a ticket, we explain our deal with the Chinese friends we made and she explains that they don't have a ticket to give us.

It's now 7, we boarded at 4, we get off in Nanjing at 3. We walk dejected out of the sleeper cars and head towards the dinning car, its packed but we manage to buy some dishes and get our seats. We sit there eating as slow as humanly possible, at 8:30 we are almost done with our two small dishes and trying to figure out what next to do to find a place to sit. As we are debating the server comes over and says that if we pay 25 kuai we can stay in the dinning car all night.

So we pay our kuai and get to sit in the car all night, the room was full of smoke, the table was hard and imposable to sleep on, and the seat was unpadded but at least it was a seat.

We get into Nanjing (which has the most amazing train station I've ever seen) and head to the Crown Royal. They'll charge the guy we're with an extra half day's rent if we go into the room before 6 so we have to wait for an hour and a half in their 5 star lobby, sleeping was not hard on their couches, and when we got into the room...nice.

Wait, how do you eat this?

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 02:24:28 GMT

Eating some food the other day and noticed this on the back...

Complaining works

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 12:09:48 GMT

I would like you all to know, in order to break the suspence, that my complaint with the climate comtrol people must have worked. The past two days have been in the 70's with blue skys and cotten seed all throughout the air. Just like its supposed to be in the spring so for all of you who are about to give up on complaining, here's proff that it works...yeah, that's a good lesson.

Will spring ever freaking come?

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 02:48:37 GMT

Okay so I would like to formally register a complaint with the climate control people. Tianjin is not that far north and it is April, why is it so cold? This place is freezing still. All the trees are bare and the sky is all gray and it's only rained once! Where is spring? I think this is the longest I've ever gone in my life without wearing shorts. Honestly some days I still contemplate putting on the long underwear, Its April for the love! So this is my complaint to the climate control people, if you're reading this (which I am sure you are being as popular as I am) then flip the switch to turn on Tianjin's spring weather. Get rid of these 45 degree temps and let the 70s and 80s come, and bring the rain, despite how discussing the rain is (bringing all the dirt from the air and putting it on the ground so you can see what you breath everyday). Though feel free to turn down the allergens at any point, egghhh, achoo, achoo, sniff snort, achoo achoo achoo....

McDonalds

Sat, 15 Apr 2006 10:29:49 GMT

So my dad said I need to write in my blog more and that it should be about day to day things and not the greatest in the world...well now we'll see how much he likes that suggestion when I talk about McDonalds. Here in Tianjin we have a few choices for western food, McD's, KFC, TGIFridays and a handful of pizza places and bars. The think is, with the exception of McD's and KFC, all the other places for western food is expensive. Now in the states I've not eaten McD's for over three years and I can honestly say I don't think I've ever set foot in a KFC. The think is though after eating Chinese food for the 17th day in a row I get kind of sick of it all and begin desiring western food like none other, the problem is with out a lot of money I'm reduced to one of two options, KFC or McD’s but I'm boycotting KFC and so left with the only McD to fill my hunger. The problem is I know I'll feel like crap afterwards and wish I'd just bought dumplings for the 6th night in a row, but before I eat there is very little that can persuade me from going (unless I have a friend invite me to eat elsewhere, Friday's is the best! hint hint)

Now to fill you in on the reasons of my boycott of KFC, I went to KFC and I wanted one of their value meals, the thing is I don't want their forced healthy value meals (peas and corn instead of fries and an orange colored drink (probably a tea) instead of soda. Now I don't want either of these, I want fries and a coke. So I go to order, knowing this dilemma, and tell the guy behind the corner, I want a #2 but I want fries and not the vegetables and also that I would like it large sized. 1st frustration: He tells me I can't have it large sized, I'm confused but the cheering of my liver I ignore it and submit. He then begins to walk to the orange colored drink machine, 'Um, sir, I don't want that drink, I want a coke.' He finishes filling my drink and comes back and says, 'that's not ok' I ask why. He says with the meals I exchange either the vegetables for fries or the orange colored drink for a coke. Frustration 2: I say no I want both coke and fries, he says no. He turns to check on my fries and the lady next to him comes and asks me what I want, I tell her the same thing, she says no. The first guy returns Frustration #3 I ask him why I can't get the coke and fries, he says it will cost more money (at this point I wanted to slap him, I don't care about the two kuai (25 cents)) so I tell him I'll pay more...he says that's not okay, Confused? Me to and now mad. So I tell him to get the picture menu and I point not to the meals but to the single items, I want this (Chicken sandwich) this (chicken breast) this (large fries) and this (large coke). Now he nods and adds up the individual items in the machine, now after this 15 minutes the total was 25 kuai (the meal is 24) and I pay and leave as quick as I can shaking my fist in anger and spurting sentence fragments under my breath...ggrrrrrrr McD's chicken sandwiches are better anyways, especially the one with the chunk of chicken skin still attached...mmmm, sorry liver.

Now back to the original dilemma, I'm sitting here thinking between two options because I don't want Chinese of any kind, oriental even, I want western. Fridays is out of my budget range for the week so my choices are Alibabas or McD's. Now I don't really want to eat McD's and so you would think that Alibabas would be the natural choice. Well Alibabas is a bar and last two times I went there was this girl there who has taken a liking to me. If I was to go with a group it'd be no problem, easy defense, but to go all alone...might be a bit awkward, though I've yet to experience my first Chinese stalker.

But all this talk about food’s made me hungry and have to make the choice McD's (shut up liver) or gamble on her not being at Alibabas...hmmmmmm…Sorry liver.

Mama and didi in the zhongguo

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 12:40:16 GMT

So a few weeks ago my mom and brother came hear to china to see me and istead of telling you all the things we did my mom already has...click this link http://spaces.msn.com/pmcneely/PersonalSpace.aspx?_c= it also has pitures of the time here. Hope you enjoy

Chinesed American Football

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 09:57:18 GMT

So the other week we got a football into the country. Today we played. Aside from haveing to remind the chinese playing with us to stop throwing the ball after they catch it it was alot of fun. I knocked myself out, my knee is aching and there is blood coming out of more then one place on my body...it was great!

The man below me

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 14:28:26 GMT

On Saturday morning, I had just started a load of laundry, its early (for me) and so I am in sweats when I hear a loud pounding on my door. I think its just going to be someone wanting me to pay a bill, as they are the only people who drop by unexpected and knock loudly. To my surprise it was not a bill collector but an old man. He was equally surprised and quickly said, 'oh, your a foreigner!' I tell him, yes I am and he comes into my house. He moves slowly and my dog gets out, so I try to maneuver around him (without knocking him over) and try to get my dog back in the house. He begins talking while I'm chasing the dog and I don't catch much but once I calmed things down he mentions that he's an 80-year-old man and is sick and needs his sleep. My dog is not quiet and hops more then runs so when he's chasing his ball its hard for him to sleep. Now this is difficult for me, I understand his position and sympathize with him but how do I get my dog not to play, he's a puppy. I tell him I'll try to keep it down early in the morning and late at night which makes him happy, he was cute (if that word fits an old man) smiling and patting me firmly on the back as he slowly, slowly exited my apartment and crawled along the railing as he descended the stairs. The problem I have is that my apartment has wood tiles so when he walks it's loud, when he lays down its loud, and when he chases his empty coke bottle its really loud. But he's a dog, what can I do? I can't prevent him from walking around my apartment and I don't want to prevent him from playing. My current train of thought is to just pretend I didn't fully understand him, I'll try to keep my dog from playing at 7 in the morning and 10 at night but if he gets upset (which seems unlikely with how friendly he was) I can always pull out the white card and say, '我听不懂' Any ideas on how to quite down the reverb of the floor, please let me know.

New Semester

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 03:57:44 GMT

So I am almost at the end of my first week of the new semester at new century language and culture institute and I have finally reached the lesson in which they tell me how to say the full name of the school. Though knowing this doesn't help any cause the school is just for foreigners and consequently the locals don't know of it. When I tell them I'm studying Chinese they always say, oh at Nankai or Tianda? And I say, no and New Century and then they look at me like I don't really know how to speak Chinese. Then I spit out my sentence fragments explaining how the school is very small and just teaches westerners Chinese that its located in the travel university (which gets another blank look...yes I can say travel university but not language school) then I have to proceed to tell them the location of the school and what I am planning on doing after I am done. This normally leads to more frustration as no one understands me when I say cheese (nailao) in Chinese. I am saying it with the right tones I just think its something they don't here often so its confusing to them. So I say, 'I am planning on making cheese...cheese...making cheese, cheese yes cheese.' they normally in the end go, oh nai lao. and I think, that was what I was saying all along! Egh. At least today I learned the word for bike pump, very useful.

p.s. here's a pic of my dog to show you how big he's gotten (gotten is bad English aint it?)

春节快乐！

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 10:07:19 GMT

My mom asked me last year what it was like to be in China for the Chinese New Year (春节). Since I wasn't in China at the time I couldn't really explain it. But tonight I joined the 1/5 of the world that enjoyed the glory and amusement that is 春节. The simplest way to describe it is for you is to have you imagine the most elaborate fourth of July celebration you've ever seen then imagine that same celebration happening every fifty feet. People have rolled out hundreds of firecrackers littering the street in red paper and scaring all the dogs (don't worry, mine was fine until he peed on the floor and I smacked him). The sky started out all nice and clear this afternoon but this evening when I was riding home I couldn't see more then fifty feet in front of me; my eyes tearing from the onslaught of soot and various other toxins. But what's really amazing is the sounds; it really sounds as if the city is under attack, only less organized. There are millions of small cracks interrupted by the enormous explosions that set every car alarm in the city off. (Crack crack bang crack bang bang BOOM [car alarm] bang crack crack bang bang crack bang crack crack bang BOOM BOOM [car alarm] crack BOOM [car alarm] crack bang crack crack crack) repeat continually until 2-3am

Handicapped Squatty

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 16:12:04 GMT

So I discovered only 200 meters from my home a public toilet. This in itself isn't that amazing but what is amazing is that it is handicap accessible...kind of. It's a great try by China to be sensitive to the needs of disabled individuals but they kind of missed the mark on this one. How? Well let’s look at the obstacles a person in a wheel chair would still have to overcome to get into the building. First, you'd have to figure out how to get up the 9-inch curb from the street to the sidewalk; sure some parts are a little lower that others and some have rocks near by to lower the difficulty but still an obstacle nonetheless. Second, you'd have to maneuver through the jagged chunks of tile, loose dirt and potholes that make up the clearly unmaintained sidewalk, I think my dog twisted his knee hear while we were walking. After this you finally get to the thoughtfully placed ramps into the bathroom, complete with sign and all...but let us not forget, what do you do once you get into the bathroom? I couldn't imagine a squatty potty being one of the most convenient of facilities unless their wheelchair has a trap door or something.

Really?!

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 12:13:12 GMT

So I've been scouring all of my friends blogs hoping for some tidbit of information on their lives when it occurred to me that others could be doing the same with my site, hoping beyond hope for my next great though or incite into the mysteries that are our world...well let's see what happens.

China has a lot of Chinese people...

Now I know what your thinking, 'that’s not wisdom, in fact, Paul, I am going to never again look at your site or listen to anything you have to say…really, Paul, I believe myself stupider for reading that,' and you would be right but please read on, maybe something further from stupidity will spill on the screen. Now the reason I tell you that China has a lot of Chinese people is every now and then I forget it. Living day to day in a world where everyone has black hair and brown eyes I forget that mine are light brown (not blonde) and blue. Today I was sitting on my bike waiting for the light to change and I just happened to look to all the people also on their bikes also waiting for the light to change and it occurred to me, they are all Chinese. Duh, right, but for some reason its not that simple. I see them day to day and it never occurs to me that their is something different with them and I until I go to eat dinner and everyone is sneaking glances at what I chose to eat and turning their heads when I place my order and again I realize, 'Oh yeah, I'm not like them.'

For some reason I find a great peace knowing that no matter how hard I try, no matter how good my Chinese gets, no matter how many Chinese friends I have, I will still never be Chinese and every time I go into a restaurant people will want to know what people like me eat...or maybe I'm just narcissistic and I like to know that other people (besides myself) are looking at me in wonder.

Chronicles of Narnia

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 16:31:47 GMT

If you haven't seen this movie yet, leave your computer now and go to the theaters...unless you're also in China in which case go to your local DVD sellers and search high and low until you find this movie. Need less to say despite the joys of watching children actors I loved this movie...though I may be a bit partial.

Its the Little differences...

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 05:26:39 GMT

First before I go into what I did this weekend I thought I'd share a bit of what I've learned in class. My teacher on Friday taught me some words, 狠狠(henhen)[Ruthless]，可怜(kelian)[pity]，and 救护车(jiuhuche)[ambulance]. So I naturally made the following sentence, "我狠狠地打你，以后我可怜你叫救护车。" Which means, 'After I ruthlessly beat you I will have pity on you and call an ambulance.' And I thought my Chinese wasn't improving...silly me.

So onto this weekend...I did a lot of things, Friday I went bowling then dinner for Alice’s birthday and then to KTV for Karaoke for Brad's last night (though he isn't leaving for two weeks and that’s only if he can get a new passport cause his current one went through the wash and the guys in Beijing said he'd not get into America with it). I'll go into more detail about karaoke shortly.

Saturday I was planning on cleaning my apartment, yes I, Dirty Uncle Pauly was planning on cleaning my apartment. Why, because when my dog poops he has a problem of stepping in it so while he poops where he’s supposed to he still tracks the smell all over my apartment. But alas, the moment that I get my bucket of mop water all ready I get a call, I promised Natalie that I'd watch her house while she was out tutoring. So I go there, on the way I get invited to dinner with Steve’s mom, can't turn down free Korean food, and then go to Molly, DB, and Jodi's pad to sit and talk.

Sunday after fellowship I finally convinced some one to go to TGIFridays with me (I've wanted to go there since I landed in China back in August). After this I bought my dog a new bed cause he out grew his last one and then cleaned my apartment and went to the butcher to get some bones for my dog and watched King Kong.

So back to the Topic of KTV, Americans do KTV much different then Chinese. Chinese (despite their communal mindset) do KTV one at a time and while one person is singing everyone else is preoccupied with looking up their next song or talking to one another, but on the whole only partially paying attention to the one singing. In contrast, Americans while singing must put on a show and prefer to do so in groups. With Americans, everyone pays attention to the one singing and will sing along if they feel you need some help, even get up and dance next to you to take the pressure off the one singing. I heard many times on Friday night, 'oh I love this song, I got your back!' and the individualistic solo instantly turns into the communal duet. Quite red of our culture, don't you think?

The thing about clubbing in China...

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 01:32:29 GMT

So for new years Jason and I decided to go out for the evening cause that’s what the by-laws of new years eve says [Section 4: amendment 2B- when said party is not invited to a party with the aforementioned items of attraction the said party is then required to either make a party or go to an establishment which provides said entertainment] So I did the only thing I could...Jason and I watched transformers until Natalie gave me a call and then went to here house to steal music before attending a Chinese banquet with Paula then to a coffee shop to count down the new year and finally to Max...which brings me to the point of this whole mess

Chinese clubs are great. For those of you who know me from the states you might be thinking...'Uncle Pauly doesn't dance, point of fact I believe he despises dancing.' and you'd be right...in the states, but here in china. The reason why (1) Chinese men, on the whole, suck at dancing. And when I say suck I don’t' mean they just don't do it, I means suck as in the dance floor is mostly men doing either the 'Elaine' from Seinfeld or 'hippy dancing' in which then keep their arms in a locked position and sway soothingly from side to side through the sea of techno music. This gives me more then enough confidence to bust my own move and in most cases and it gives me a big head when all the men around me are imitating my stupid motions and giving me the thumbs up. It’s a sad, sad day when I am the best dancer to imitate.

The only downside to this all...touchy feely men. I don't mean its like in the states where you have to watch your women cause there are touchy feely men around. I mean the men come up and will hold your hands and rub your shoulders and just basically be all up ons and its just not cool...and by not cool I mean its down right creepy. And the attention from the women...non existent, that’s probably why the men are all touchy feely with each other. Kind of sad if you sit up all night analyzing situations and culture like that...um but because I am cool and definitely not a dork I don’t' do things like that...um...I'm going to go now...do something...that doesn’t involve analyzing cultural situations…something cool. Cause that’s what I do....

圣诞节快乐(Merry Christmas)

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 02:59:42 GMT

This has been a great Christmas so far. My best friend Jason came to visit me on his way home to America from Vanuatu. He arrived on the 22 and so was able to spend Christmas with me here in China. Its been a great blessing to have him here to help me feel like I'm home. Friday we went out for lunch at the Chinese table (free lunch given by my school) and then we bought him gloves cause he had no need for them in Vanuatu. After the lunch we started watching the original series of Transformers (we now have the theme song memorized if you want hear us sing it give me a call). That night we went to a JHF dinner and then out to a local coffee shop with some friends.

Christmas eve:

Woke up early (11) and went out to the concession district of Tianjin (section of town where the foreign devils set up there colonial governments in Tianjin) We looked at all the old buildings and then went to a giant walking mall. I took him around the mall, fed him street food, showed him what a Chinese Wal-mart's like then went to the old catholic cathedral. After this we returned to my place, watched movies, ate Chinese take out then headed over to the Singaporeans for a party. The party was quite a cultural experience for Jason. It started with an icebreaker where everyone went around the room and said their name and something about themselves, this took two hours. Then we had a count down to midnight. Then watched a slideshow with all the pictures from the Singaporeans time here in China. Then we sang carols in our native tongue. At about this point Jason was getting really tired and a little bored (Everyone but him spoke Chinese) and so we headed home around 2:30. I was told the next day the party went on until 10 am.

Christmas Day:Went to the International fellowship in the morning (about the same time the Singaporeans where calling it a night). After fellowship we went to Paula's house and ate and ate and ate. We also sang some and laughed a lot and watched Piao laoshi freak out every time my dog was let out of the room. It was quite amusing. Over all it was a lot of fun. I still miss my family though but it was nice to be able to spend Christmas with friends. Hope you all had a merry Christmas, 圣诞节快乐!

Now that's good coffee

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 17:28:25 GMT

This is one of the best products I've seen in China and so thought I'd share it with you all, Thanks Mike...I stole it from Mike.

Ups and Downs

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 10:44:50 GMT

So, I never realized how much of a pain a puppy could be. That being said I also forgot how funny a puppy can be. This is why I have decided to name my dog 友敌 (Youdi). For those of you who can read Chinese know what this means for those who don't allow me to explain. 友(you) is from 朋友(pengyou) meaning friend and 敌(di) is from 敌人(diren) meaning enemy. This is his name cause when we play fetch or he knocks his home over trapping himself inside I find myself really liking the little guy and feel like he could be a good friend and companion. Then when he pees on my bed and floor and won't use his pad that I bought he just frustrates me to no end.

Now the name aside I really think my dog is broken. He sleeps alot, which should be a suprise I guess, cause he is a puppy but I always thought dogs liked eating and going on walks. Well my dog doesn't. Every time I try to go on a walk he runs to his doggy home and hides. Also when I go to give him his food he mostly doesn't eat. I fill his dish, he gets supper excited, I get him to sit (which is another frustration, not that he doesn't sit but that he does it so well at only 2 months but he won't pee where he's supposed to) then once he’s sat I set down the food and water. He sniffs it then normally drinks a little water and goes into his home. I then get confused and wonder why. He then cries a few hours later cause he's hungry and I took his food away cause he didn't eat it. Hopefully he's still growing so he'll get over the coldness of outside and won't find walks as miserable.