Uncle Pauly's pearls of wisdom: 友敌 my dog

Broken Guanxi Strings

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 10:31:04 GMT

I've done all I can for Youdi, the contacts from my school were unable to find anyone who could release him, JHF's PSB contact was also unable to release him. Both gave the excuse that because Youdi excieds the size limits for Tianjin I cannot raise him. I then found a company in Beijing who ships animals from China to other countries, figuring that if the Police new I was not going to keep him in Tianjin that they would release him to the company but again they refused. He tried to appeal to them on a professional level (the dog was going to America and not going to violate Tianjin law) and on a personal level (um...I have this friend named Washington, hint, hint). This was my last chance, it seams short of finding and breaking into the dog pound I will be unable to get Youdi back. Thank you all for your calls and emails during this time, you all have been a great strength to me. Keep Youdi in you thoughts.

As I wait

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 02:51:01 GMT

As I wait to find out if I can get my dog back I've posted picture of him so you all can see that he really isn't that big.

They Took Youdi!

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 10:13:27 GMT

Today I’m on my noon walk with Youdi, I do this everyday and so thought nothing of it until a red van with yellow paper signs on the side pulls up and three police men get out and aproch me. One quickly takes Youdi’s leash from me and tries to take him from me. An older lady who’s talked with me before is trying to help me out telling me to just give them 1000 yuan (which I don’t have) and tell them I’m a teacher at Nankai University. The lady then begins trying to soften up the police and give further instructions to me. The police are having trouble with Youdi and tell me I need to get in the van with them and go to the police station (good thing I didn’t teach Youdi any useful Chinese commands). At the police station they explain to me that Youdi is a monster of a dog, that he is way to big and there is no way that a dog his size can be raised inside the city. They write some things on a paper in the most illegible Chinese I’ve ever seen then ask me if I understand. When I say I don’t they tell me to sign my name.

I am then told that they will take me home, which is nice cause I live about 3 miles from the station but sucks because the jerk who took Youdi from me was the one who was taking me home. He’d tell me things like, ‘if you want to raise a dog, just get a little dog’ then he launched into the I’m trying to make the foreigner my friend routine. I was having none of that. It wasn’t until he tried to practice his English on me that I got mad. He’s just taken my dog from me, I’ve explained to him that my dog is like a child to me, and he has the nerve to turn to me and practice his English, asking me ‘how are you?’ in over emphasized rising tone to make sure I know it’s a question. Lucky for him he was driving and a police officer or else I might just have punched him in the neck…

So I get home and after a bout of punching and throwing everything without value in my house (mostly clothes and pillows) I go and get lunch and went to class where I new there were people who could help me.

After class I went to the most lihai man I know (lihai has two meanings, fierce and astute, this guy is both), Li Laoshi the owner of the school. He begins calling around, connecting with connections yelling at poor little police desk clerks…actually I don’t know what he really did cause he did it all in his office while I waited elsewhere but all the teachers are afraid of him because of how lihai he is so I’m glad I got him on my side. After about an hour and a half he comes back and tells me to go home and tomorrow morning he’ll let me know if and what I’ll have to do to get my dog back…stay tuned.

Clumsiest dog in the world contest?

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 01:49:19 GMT

So I don’t know how to actually quantify whether or not Youdi is the clumsiest dog in the world but of the four dogs that I have raised and other dogs I’ve seen on TV and on the street, few if any can match Youdi in clumsiness.

Some examples,
We stop by a tree so he can pee as he’s peeing he notices another dog about 100 meters behind him so stops to stare. I notice he’s done peeing and tell him to come so we can continue walking and ‘thud’ he turns his head and starts out with such speed completely forgetting the tree he just peed on, this has happened a couple of times.

Coffee tables seem also to be an insurmountable obstacle, the main problem is his back’s not much bigger then the coffee table and so as he walks casually around he doesn’t notice where the table ends and at a rather disturbing rate will crack his head into the edge. I actually took him to Rob’s apartment one evening and in the course of one football game he hit Rob’s coffee table 8 times, you’d think he’d learn.

This dog likes to run, and he can run rather fast, he just hasn’t got the turning down very well. One afternoon I take him to the open space by the canal cause people there are few and I can let him run around without fear of him running off or frightening young children. Though some times when he’s making a turn he’ll just plain fall down, I don’t know how it happens but he’s turning and ‘splat’ he’s on the ground.

He doesn’t yet realize that a dog is supposed to use his mouth to catch things. One of his favorite toys is a long rope bone, when I through this in the air he opens his mouth like he knows he’s supposed to use that but instead of biting it out of the air he lifts up his legs and attempts to catch it with his legs. This results 9 out of 10 times with the knot in the bone hitting him in the head and him falling without the bone. He does the same with Frisbee’s, ball’s and food.

And the topper, yesterday he was sitting in my lap, now to give him a little face he’s a bit big for my lap but he was doing it anyway. I was sitting watching a movie and he smelled someone outside. The tries to get up, his foot slips off my leg, this sends him down, he tries to recover, other leg slips and he’s now spinning, and lands half on the coffee table before being turned the other direction onto the floor. It seemed quite traumatic as he quickly ran from the table in fear and hid in my bedroom. I think he kind of kinked his leg too cause he was holding that up for a while.

Anyone have a dog clumsier then mine? Let me know.

Ups and Downs

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 10:44:50 GMT

So, I never realized how much of a pain a puppy could be. That being said I also forgot how funny a puppy can be. This is why I have decided to name my dog 友敌 (Youdi). For those of you who can read Chinese know what this means for those who don't allow me to explain. 友(you) is from 朋友(pengyou) meaning friend and 敌(di) is from 敌人(diren) meaning enemy. This is his name cause when we play fetch or he knocks his home over trapping himself inside I find myself really liking the little guy and feel like he could be a good friend and companion. Then when he pees on my bed and floor and won't use his pad that I bought he just frustrates me to no end.

Now the name aside I really think my dog is broken. He sleeps alot, which should be a suprise I guess, cause he is a puppy but I always thought dogs liked eating and going on walks. Well my dog doesn't. Every time I try to go on a walk he runs to his doggy home and hides. Also when I go to give him his food he mostly doesn't eat. I fill his dish, he gets supper excited, I get him to sit (which is another frustration, not that he doesn't sit but that he does it so well at only 2 months but he won't pee where he's supposed to) then once he’s sat I set down the food and water. He sniffs it then normally drinks a little water and goes into his home. I then get confused and wonder why. He then cries a few hours later cause he's hungry and I took his food away cause he didn't eat it. Hopefully he's still growing so he'll get over the coldness of outside and won't find walks as miserable.

虽然狗不理不好吃，但是别吃狗。

Sat, 10 Dec 2005 08:51:10 GMT

I now have another member of my household. For those of you who can read Chinese you'll already know what I'm talking about, for those of you who don't I'll let you know now. I now am the proud master of a very little dog...puppy to be exact. My house now reeks of bleach from cleaning up his little nervous accidents but as of right now he's sleeping soundly in his little dog home. I don't know what kind of dog he is, he looks kind of mutty but I don't really know, I basically say mutt because I don’t' know a lot of types of dogs and he not one of the few I know. He's 2 months old and a light tan color, he likes to crawl into my armpit under my jacket when we go outside for walks...that’s basically all the information I know about him so far, once I teach him English I'll let you know. Right now he just knows Chinese and even that’s a little shaky. I will take suggestions for a name but mind you it must be an ultra cool name as I will be judged for the rest of his life as uncool if I choose a name like skip or Rex or spot (sorry to anyone who named your dog skip, rex or spot. I meant you no offence.) I'll be sure to post some pictures here soon and will keep you all updated on the happenings of the little one.