Uncle Pauly's pearls of wisdom: Things I did and thought were fun

My girlfriend make me laugh

Thu, 24 May 2007 05:09:52 GMT

Here is a video my girlfriend and her sister made, nothing better then funny girls in skirts!

Sorry Hong Kong

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 05:30:53 GMT

So I realized today that I may have been a little harsh with Hong Kong yesterday and so today I wanted to tell you two things that I really like about Hong Kong.

1. Traffic: the cars stop at lights, people walk on the sidewalk instead of the middle of the road, people wait on the sidewalk when before crossing the road and people wait for the cross walk signal before crossing the road. If in 20 years Beijing's traffic is as nice as Hong Kong's is right now I'll be suprized.

2. Hello!: The thing that I hate the most about China is the construction workers and other men yelling hello! at me. Every time I hear it I cringe and have to fight back this urge to violently injure someone. The whole week here in Hong Kong, not one person yelled at me, not even people selling things on the street.

Beautifully Boring Hong Kong

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 06:38:41 GMT

So, I'm in Hong Kong to get my visa switched over and I must say that it's not fun being in a big city all by yourself. I am bored and broke (though I did buy a new computer and a HK$450 steak which was well worth it). So I thought to share some of my observations with you about Hong Kong.

1. Hong Kong people are even more confused about how to walk in crowds then those in the mainland. They drive on the left side of the road but have yet to adapt this to their walking patters, not only this they have yet to develop this as a universal system to escalator/ stairs/ and subway entrances. An example, to get to the Subway you first go down a set of stairs (where there are arrows on the left indicating that is the side of the stairs you should descend), then you enter the subway station (entrance station on the right while people are exiting to your left (causing you to cross the rivers of people in order to get to the gate)) Then you have to take an escalator down to the platform, which is again on the left forcing you to again cross the river of people heading for the exit gate. I think it should be a universal law, the side of the road you drive on should be accepted as the side of a walkway/staircase/escalator ect. that you walk on, but that's just me.

2. Hong Kong men are just as gentlemanly as those in the mainland. Two examples, every time I've eaten at the mall (which is a lot cause I don't know how to order Cantonese food) there will be couples eating together at other tables. I would say as many of half of these couples the guy is sitting there playing his Nintendo DS or PSP while the girl sits there staring off into space or meekly eating the food still remaining on the table. There are the occasional good guys who are teaching their girlfriends how to play their games but they are a vast minority. Second example, I am waiting at the Chinese consulate and a chair opens up (these are rare and so i am not rushing to get to it but being the closes I decide to stroll on over. Right as I am turning to sit down this old man shoves me aside and takes the seat. Now I forgive his rudeness and would have offered the seat to him had I seen him standing near but then his wife follows over to the seat and I thought I'd see a glimpse of a gentlemen. Surely this old man would give his wife the seat? Well, instead he fidgets in the chair for a while and pulls out the newspaper he sat on, unfolds it, and gives her a section so that she can sit on the floor next to him without getting her pants dirty. Classic Chinese gentleman.

Apartment

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 08:37:26 GMT

After I realized that I am in fact an adult and that I have a job that I love and the opportunity and responsibility to be a good steward of the money gifted to me I have decided to purchase an apartment. I came to this decision when I visited my first apartment in yangqu. While the rent was much lower then I was paying in Tianjin the place was a dump and I would have had to pay around 1000 RMB to get it into a livable condition. I personally don't like to give money to other people to do things they should have done with their own money and so made the decision to investigate property. I found an apartment in a new apartment complex, then I found out the cost of the apartment was quite low, I then found out all the government officials chose this apartment complex to buy their apartments in (always a good sign) and that they predict the population of yangqu will jump from 30,000 to 150,000 in the next 3 years, along with the quickly dropping value of the RMB. All these factors have combined to provide me with a sweet pad that’s soon to be mine; I have a quick video posted on my myspace where you can see a very dark tour of my new apartment if you care to check it out.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1891386214

I will include some pics in the months to come once I start renovations.

Job

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 08:57:09 GMT

Just in case you have not read about the work I am doing, it can all be summed up on our website, www.cheeseinchina.com

News (its all good)

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 04:08:41 GMT

So looking at my last blog I must say that today I know what I really am feeling, I am to excited to do anything, I'm going home tomorrow and so I have packed everything away...but I hadn't dressed yet and so had to unpack some to get clean clothes then re-pack it all...then realize that I packed my schoolwork (which I still have class at 3) and had to unpack that. It's to hard to study cause I can't focus...but since I'm leaving in less then 24 hours I'm not going to worry about that.

Other news, I have a Job. No more sitting at home studying Chinese with only 2 hours of class. I now have a full time job setting up a quality control laboratory for a Cheese factory in Yangqu (a town of 50,000 north of Taiyuan). There are ups and downs to the whole thing but the biggest up is I have a job that will eventually pay me and stuff.

(P.S. if anyone knows how to do quality control for cheese please don't hesitate to send me some suggestions!)

LOTR

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 11:38:56 GMT

I just want to anounce to the world that I finally finished lord of the rings. Only 4 tries and three years later then I intended, but I finished it. Its a good book, don't get me wrong, but dang is it thick. I don't see how people could read through it in a week as I have seen and heard them do (John Eklund). Though I must say I didn't get the normal feeling I get when finishing a book. I normally feel, after reading a good book, that I have now lost a part of my life because I was so engrossed in the fanticy of the book that my real life seams less interesting and I want to get back into that world. I didn't feel that way after lord of the rings, maybe cause i was strugling so much just to get through the book or maybe because Tolken tied it up so well in the end. who knows, all i know is that it may be a few years before I try to tackle that book again.

I Love Nankai

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 03:23:28 GMT

College campuses are just as great in China as they are in America. Why do I say this? I have just moved onto the Campus of Nankai university here in Tianjin and I must say that it is great. Though my apartment is a little small (it would be a nice size for a single person so with two it may be a bit cramped) it’s got everything I need and with a little organization (which is a skill I lack) it should be quite nice. Aside from the apartment where I live is amazing, the first floors of all the buildings around me have front yards and so while I don’t have one its nice to see grass and trees and pruned bushes every time I leave my apartment. People aren’t afraid of my dog, my old place every other person who owned a dog with yell at me if Youdi came within a yard of theirs. First day here I ran into a large group of people all meeting together to let their dogs play and were fully interested in Youdi and what a westerner does with a dog, he loved it. Then, if that wasn’t enough to make me fall in love already, within a half mile of my apartment is the student market. Produce, supermarket, jewelry, DVD’s, clothes, and restaurants all at ridiculously low prices, and for some one who hates to haggle this is paradise. And did I mention the restaurants, amazing! First night Rob and I go to this little dirty looking cafeteria, I’m expecting sub-par food cause it’s dirt cheep. Well the feast they brought us was anything but my expectations, crisp vegetables, well cooked meat, delicious sauces, and ice cold beer, all for the amazing price 24 yuan ($3). I was so impressed I went back again last night and got their curry beef gaifan (like a normal Chinese dish but served on a bed of rice). It was 4 yuan ($0.50) so I expected mostly curry covered rice with a bit of meat mixed in but what I got was amazing, huge chunks of tomato and potato with green peppers and cabbage all swimming in a delicious yellow curry sauce, it was so good I almost forgot that in the sauce was plenty of chicken (they ran out of beef), I left happy to say the least, I LOVE NANKAI!

Simon's Last Night

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 01:58:42 GMT

After two years in China, Simon is returning home to England today. Last night we sent him off properly by taking one of the gifts he received from a student and having some fun with it on the Tianjin University campus. Look in the picture folder 'Simon's last night' for the real details of a seemingly inocent Peiking opera mask...all I can say is beware, the mask is evil, pure evil!

Mama and didi in the zhongguo

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 12:40:16 GMT

So a few weeks ago my mom and brother came hear to china to see me and istead of telling you all the things we did my mom already has...click this link http://spaces.msn.com/pmcneely/PersonalSpace.aspx?_c= it also has pitures of the time here. Hope you enjoy

Chinesed American Football

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 09:57:18 GMT

So the other week we got a football into the country. Today we played. Aside from haveing to remind the chinese playing with us to stop throwing the ball after they catch it it was alot of fun. I knocked myself out, my knee is aching and there is blood coming out of more then one place on my body...it was great!

春节快乐！

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 10:07:19 GMT

My mom asked me last year what it was like to be in China for the Chinese New Year (春节). Since I wasn't in China at the time I couldn't really explain it. But tonight I joined the 1/5 of the world that enjoyed the glory and amusement that is 春节. The simplest way to describe it is for you is to have you imagine the most elaborate fourth of July celebration you've ever seen then imagine that same celebration happening every fifty feet. People have rolled out hundreds of firecrackers littering the street in red paper and scaring all the dogs (don't worry, mine was fine until he peed on the floor and I smacked him). The sky started out all nice and clear this afternoon but this evening when I was riding home I couldn't see more then fifty feet in front of me; my eyes tearing from the onslaught of soot and various other toxins. But what's really amazing is the sounds; it really sounds as if the city is under attack, only less organized. There are millions of small cracks interrupted by the enormous explosions that set every car alarm in the city off. (Crack crack bang crack bang bang BOOM [car alarm] bang crack crack bang bang crack bang crack crack bang BOOM BOOM [car alarm] crack BOOM [car alarm] crack bang crack crack crack) repeat continually until 2-3am

Chronicles of Narnia

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 16:31:47 GMT

If you haven't seen this movie yet, leave your computer now and go to the theaters...unless you're also in China in which case go to your local DVD sellers and search high and low until you find this movie. Need less to say despite the joys of watching children actors I loved this movie...though I may be a bit partial.

Its the Little differences...

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 05:26:39 GMT

First before I go into what I did this weekend I thought I'd share a bit of what I've learned in class. My teacher on Friday taught me some words, 狠狠(henhen)[Ruthless]，可怜(kelian)[pity]，and 救护车(jiuhuche)[ambulance]. So I naturally made the following sentence, "我狠狠地打你，以后我可怜你叫救护车。" Which means, 'After I ruthlessly beat you I will have pity on you and call an ambulance.' And I thought my Chinese wasn't improving...silly me.

So onto this weekend...I did a lot of things, Friday I went bowling then dinner for Alice’s birthday and then to KTV for Karaoke for Brad's last night (though he isn't leaving for two weeks and that’s only if he can get a new passport cause his current one went through the wash and the guys in Beijing said he'd not get into America with it). I'll go into more detail about karaoke shortly.

Saturday I was planning on cleaning my apartment, yes I, Dirty Uncle Pauly was planning on cleaning my apartment. Why, because when my dog poops he has a problem of stepping in it so while he poops where he’s supposed to he still tracks the smell all over my apartment. But alas, the moment that I get my bucket of mop water all ready I get a call, I promised Natalie that I'd watch her house while she was out tutoring. So I go there, on the way I get invited to dinner with Steve’s mom, can't turn down free Korean food, and then go to Molly, DB, and Jodi's pad to sit and talk.

Sunday after fellowship I finally convinced some one to go to TGIFridays with me (I've wanted to go there since I landed in China back in August). After this I bought my dog a new bed cause he out grew his last one and then cleaned my apartment and went to the butcher to get some bones for my dog and watched King Kong.

So back to the Topic of KTV, Americans do KTV much different then Chinese. Chinese (despite their communal mindset) do KTV one at a time and while one person is singing everyone else is preoccupied with looking up their next song or talking to one another, but on the whole only partially paying attention to the one singing. In contrast, Americans while singing must put on a show and prefer to do so in groups. With Americans, everyone pays attention to the one singing and will sing along if they feel you need some help, even get up and dance next to you to take the pressure off the one singing. I heard many times on Friday night, 'oh I love this song, I got your back!' and the individualistic solo instantly turns into the communal duet. Quite red of our culture, don't you think?

The thing about clubbing in China...

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 01:32:29 GMT

So for new years Jason and I decided to go out for the evening cause that’s what the by-laws of new years eve says [Section 4: amendment 2B- when said party is not invited to a party with the aforementioned items of attraction the said party is then required to either make a party or go to an establishment which provides said entertainment] So I did the only thing I could...Jason and I watched transformers until Natalie gave me a call and then went to here house to steal music before attending a Chinese banquet with Paula then to a coffee shop to count down the new year and finally to Max...which brings me to the point of this whole mess

Chinese clubs are great. For those of you who know me from the states you might be thinking...'Uncle Pauly doesn't dance, point of fact I believe he despises dancing.' and you'd be right...in the states, but here in china. The reason why (1) Chinese men, on the whole, suck at dancing. And when I say suck I don’t' mean they just don't do it, I means suck as in the dance floor is mostly men doing either the 'Elaine' from Seinfeld or 'hippy dancing' in which then keep their arms in a locked position and sway soothingly from side to side through the sea of techno music. This gives me more then enough confidence to bust my own move and in most cases and it gives me a big head when all the men around me are imitating my stupid motions and giving me the thumbs up. It’s a sad, sad day when I am the best dancer to imitate.

The only downside to this all...touchy feely men. I don't mean its like in the states where you have to watch your women cause there are touchy feely men around. I mean the men come up and will hold your hands and rub your shoulders and just basically be all up ons and its just not cool...and by not cool I mean its down right creepy. And the attention from the women...non existent, that’s probably why the men are all touchy feely with each other. Kind of sad if you sit up all night analyzing situations and culture like that...um but because I am cool and definitely not a dork I don’t' do things like that...um...I'm going to go now...do something...that doesn’t involve analyzing cultural situations…something cool. Cause that’s what I do....

圣诞节快乐(Merry Christmas)

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 02:59:42 GMT

This has been a great Christmas so far. My best friend Jason came to visit me on his way home to America from Vanuatu. He arrived on the 22 and so was able to spend Christmas with me here in China. Its been a great blessing to have him here to help me feel like I'm home. Friday we went out for lunch at the Chinese table (free lunch given by my school) and then we bought him gloves cause he had no need for them in Vanuatu. After the lunch we started watching the original series of Transformers (we now have the theme song memorized if you want hear us sing it give me a call). That night we went to a JHF dinner and then out to a local coffee shop with some friends.

Christmas eve:

Woke up early (11) and went out to the concession district of Tianjin (section of town where the foreign devils set up there colonial governments in Tianjin) We looked at all the old buildings and then went to a giant walking mall. I took him around the mall, fed him street food, showed him what a Chinese Wal-mart's like then went to the old catholic cathedral. After this we returned to my place, watched movies, ate Chinese take out then headed over to the Singaporeans for a party. The party was quite a cultural experience for Jason. It started with an icebreaker where everyone went around the room and said their name and something about themselves, this took two hours. Then we had a count down to midnight. Then watched a slideshow with all the pictures from the Singaporeans time here in China. Then we sang carols in our native tongue. At about this point Jason was getting really tired and a little bored (Everyone but him spoke Chinese) and so we headed home around 2:30. I was told the next day the party went on until 10 am.

Christmas Day:Went to the International fellowship in the morning (about the same time the Singaporeans where calling it a night). After fellowship we went to Paula's house and ate and ate and ate. We also sang some and laughed a lot and watched Piao laoshi freak out every time my dog was let out of the room. It was quite amusing. Over all it was a lot of fun. I still miss my family though but it was nice to be able to spend Christmas with friends. Hope you all had a merry Christmas, 圣诞节快乐!

What happend on the way to thanksgiving...

Sat, 03 Dec 2005 07:55:56 GMT

So I have recently been asked by several people, 'what did you do for thanksgiving?' this is a good question considering the fact that I am in a country that doesn't celebrate the holiday. Also the country is killing off turkeys like they have the plague.

I'll give you two answers to the question, one short and one long in case you don’t' have the time to wade through the long answer.

1. Short Answer.

I had three thanksgivings all complete with turkey and all the fixing followed by a birthday party and then an 'Emperor style weekend' with friends which end in an overnight stay in a Korean bath house, and Chinese pop music karaoke

2. Long Answer: Prepare yourself, there's quite a bit.

So the Saturday before thanksgiving I was invited to a thanksgiving feast. It was a group of friends I met at our international fellowship here in Tianjin. We had dinner on the Sunday before because they were leaving for Thailand the following Monday and would miss the official thanksgiving. They ordered a bird from overseas, it was probably the largest turkey I'd ever seen in my life, I'd guess about 25 lbs but I really have no clue as I never really got that close to it. We ate for around 6 hours and just spend time hanging out in their house until Simon arrived, Simon brought a book. This book had a question in it. This question made everyone mad. So we debated that question for 3 hours. I will not repeat the question as it will remind me more fully of the incident. All that to say we called it a night around 12:30. Biking for 30 minutes after stuffing yourself is a little more difficult then normal, just FYI.

The next day (Sunday) met up with my friends again at fellowship, they invited me back to their house for another thanksgiving lunch as they still had leftovers from the day before and needed to get rid of them before they left for Thailand. So again I returned to their house and again I ate until I felt I'd pot and again the question was brought up and argued about so we instead started watching Arrested development.

The week of thanksgiving started out normal, I went to Harry Potter on Sunday with some friends from Singapore (more to come with them) and while that's not thanksgiving related or in reference to the question I'd thought I through that in there to assure you all that I still am living a somewhat normal life.

Thursday (thanksgiving) I was invited to another Jianhua Associates house for the 'official' Thanksgiving dinner where I again had Turkey (clearly wasn't that hard to get turkey) I ate and ate and ate until I couldn't eat anymore...then they brought out the pies. Pumpkin, Apple and coconut cream and I had them all. I was so full when I returned home and tried to type on my computer I was having trouble cause I had to hunch over slightly and my stomach would push into my diaphragm and made it hard to breath, but isn't that what thanksgiving’s all about?

(note: from now one the story has progressed away from thanksgiving and goes into describing the 'Emperors Weekend')

So Friday was my friend Jon's birthday, we went out for Korean food and then back to his house where we watched the good parts of 'You got served' (the sections where they don't talk) and tried to dance before we all decided it was weird to have a bunch of guys dancing together alone in a tiny Chinese apartment and so headed out to the clubs. The club we headed to was packed, we could barely move let alone hear what was going on or really do anything so after a good hour of Brownian motion on the dance floor we decided to head back to Jon's house where we talked until early in the morning.

Saturday I headed up to Beijing to meet up with some Singaporean Friends who are studying at Nankai in Tianjin. We went out for dinner (though we have to pay an arm and a leg for Turkeys cause of bird flu Beijing duck is Half Price!) and then out to lotus lane to try and go clubbing. We ended up walking into bar's realizing we didn't want to pay 60 kuai for a beer that we could buy in a store for 3 and ended up heading to another section of town where again we had difficulty finding a good place to really dance or drink. We stopped in a bar for a while as we waited for some other friend to meet up with us then headed to a club near by but upon finding out that the cover charge was 50 kuai we quickly decided that it was time for dessert. We ate iced porridge and then slept.

Sunday we woke up all uncomfortable and cold and decided that the best place for use to go was the Beijing natural history museum. We wondered around until around 2 looking at old peaces of pottery and wax figures of famous people I'd never heard of. After this we raced to meet back up with our friends (who had gone to the temple of heaven) and head to the train station. As we ran to get on the express train to Tianjin the gate was firmly slammed shut on us. The Singaporeans argued and argued (Chinese is their mother tongue) and found out that there was a train heading to Shanghai in ten minutes going through Tianjin. We ran onto the train and spent a good 2 1/2 hours traveling home. When we got in we headed to a DVD store to peruse the DVD's then went to dinner at a Korean Restaurant. We all ate tons of wonderful food then practiced biking in pairs before heading to a Korean Bath house.

Monday(early morning)

Bathhouses are interesting. Me and the other guy got seperated from the other girls and headed in for our bath. Siting in a hot tub with several other naked men is an experience that everyone should try to avoid, I kept getting this feeling that it should be awkward but everyone else seamed alright with it. After about 45 minutes we decided that it was time to head up to the sauna and meet up with the girls. We dawned our bath robes and headed up to the sauna. All of us had fits of falling asleep either in the hot saunas (some as high as 45 degrees) or the cold sauna (about 10 degrees) we decided sleep was becoming a greater need then sweating. But how could you relax in a bathhouse without a massage. so instead of buying the 120 kuai full body massage we got the 40 kuai foot massage and 40 kuai body massage that excluded the feet. It was really, really nice and i learned the Chinese word for ticklish (怕痒). at around 4 when the massage was done we simply fell asleep in the bathhouse until 7 when we awoke at headed out for a traditional Chinese breakfast (which my Singaporean friends clamed was good but I still think was lacking something called sugar). they then invited me out to Karaoke on Thursday.

I described my weekend to my teacher on class that Monday, he said I was like an Emperor hence the title.

So Thursday came and I cooked them Taco's, a wholey exotic food on this side of the globe, which they loved. We ate till we were full (about half of the food I brought) then some Chinese friends came over before we headed out to the KTV. At the KTV I was able to sing all sorts of old English songs I really had no clue how to sing, and a lot of them where a little out of my range. But my friends kept the Chinese pop songs flowing. I must say here and now that I quite like Chinese pop and here is my reasoning why. Most all American pop I can't really stand, there is something about it I just don't like, but Chinese pop I can't get enough of, maybe its the fact I can't understand a word of it or maybe its the fact that deep down in my sole I really have a place for pop music of some kind...I really hope its the first. Well we ended singing at 5 am. We returned home around 5:45. I had class at 8 so I didn't really sleep but instead kept my Singaporean friends up before I biked off to my home. I nearly passed out in class which back in College in the states would have been no problem, I've slept through tons of classes (sorry dad) but when your the only student in a class its a little difficult to blend in. My teacher counted my yawns, I hit 29.